I just want to do cool stuff.

I didn't hang any pictures in my office for a year because I thought that I would be jinxing myself and have to take them down the next day.

I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards.

I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid.

I didn't really feel 100 percent comfortable until we started working on the 2004 election.

I peed in my wife's boot once. On honeymoon, in Madrid, we were drinking absinthe and somehow made it back to our hotel. I don't remember a second of this, but my wife woke up to this noise. Two of her boots were in the corner, one had fallen down and the other was standing up and I was peeing into it! It was a hole, and it looked like a toilet. She said: "Rob, wake up, you're peeing into my shoe!"

You're encouraged to pitch your own story. That way, you'll have more control over what you do.