Ethanol is, in its pure form, just as much of a sham as oil.

People want other people to know that they share our sensibility even if they're not exactly sure what that sensibility is.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

I've always defined myself as a writer, I've never decided what it was I was gonna write. [...] I always fancied myself one, but I'm not. I'm so far from a writer.

I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one.

The head writer loves that my character is a boor.