I don't feel rivalry. I'm the least competitive person you'll meet ever, to a fault.

I really think of it - acting and writing and producing, whatever - as shipping. You gotta ship. Put the widget together in the easiest, quickest way possible and ship the product.

I peed in my wife's boot once. On honeymoon, in Madrid, we were drinking absinthe and somehow made it back to our hotel. I don't remember a second of this, but my wife woke up to this noise. Two of her boots were in the corner, one had fallen down and the other was standing up and I was peeing into it! It was a hole, and it looked like a toilet. She said: "Rob, wake up, you're peeing into my shoe!"

Stand-up is a real art form in itself and one that I really think to be good at you have to devote your entire life to. It's the really, really good ones that end up getting to do the things that I like to do: movies, TV shows, and stuff like that. It's a really hard gig and it just never called to me.

For most of my life, I was a worrier and an over-thinker. I had pretty bad social anxiety.

It looks like garbage, my ass. But trust me, you're lucky it's not full-frontal.

You're encouraged to pitch your own story. That way, you'll have more control over what you do.