I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.

It looks like garbage, my ass. But trust me, you're lucky it's not full-frontal.

I didn't hang any pictures in my office for a year because I thought that I would be jinxing myself and have to take them down the next day.

If it's January, I'm dead in three hours. But in June, I'd be hungry, but I'd make it out. I'd find my way without a map or compass. I say that with confidence. I can build a fire without a match.

I've been an Apple guy since the mid 80's and that's when I was like, "Boy, you guys really got me here. I know exactly what you're doing, right down to your price points."