If I don’t start having service I’m going to swap you all for a dog and shoot the dog.

Nobody ever wins a lawsuit but the lawyers.

Civilians are like beans; you buy 'em as needed for any job which merely requires skill and savvy. But you can't buy fighting spirit.

I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much . . . because it's the only thing that'll make it stop hurting.

I never do anything I don't want to do. Nor does anyone, but in my case I am always aware of it.

The shamans are forever yacking about their snake oil miracles. I prefer the real McCoy, a pregnant woman.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.