If I don’t start having service I’m going to swap you all for a dog and shoot the dog.

It's better to copulate than not.

If tempted by something that feels 'altruistic,' examine your motives and root out that self-deception. Then, if you still want to do it, wallow in it!

Correct morality can only be derived from what man is — not from what do-gooders and well-meaning aunt Nellies would like him to be.

All human behavior, all human motivations, all man’s hopes and fears, were heavily colored and largely controlled by mankind’s tragic and oddly beautiful pattern of reproduction.

If I had a Boy Scout I could make a fire by rubbing his hind legs together.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.