Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; it's more sanitary.

Ninety percent of all human wisdom is the ability to mind your own business.

But, if there ever was a time in history when "peace" meant that there was no fighting going on, I have been unable to find out about it.

My folks tried to make a preacher of me and missed by a narrow margin… I would have made a good one if I hadn’t fallen into the fatal folly of reading anything I could lay hands on. With just a touch more self confidence and a liberal helping of ignorance I could have been a famous evangelist.

Patriotism is not 'my country right or wrong'; patriotism means loving the ideals for which America stands and having the courage to speak up when these ideals are distorted for personal or political gain. The American government was instituted to be the servant of the people, not our master.

A girl's name ending in 'a' - that always suggests a 'C' cup.

Always cut the cards...and smile when you lose.