It’s not enough to be able to lie with a straight face; anybody with enough gall to raise on a busted flush can do that. The first way to lie artistically is to tell the truth — but not all of it. The second way involves telling the truth, too, but is harder: Tell the exact truth and maybe all of it…but tell it so unconvincingly that your listener is sure you are lying.

Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.

Never pick up a stray kitten . . . unless you've already made up your mind to be owned by it.

The two highest achievements of the human mind are the twin concepts of "loyalty" and "duty". Whenever these twin concepts fall into disrepute, get out of there fast! You may possibly save yourself, but it is too late to save that society. It is doomed.

Thou art god, I am god. All that groks is god.

Hit it! You have to hit it harder than that. Electrons are timid little things but notional; you have to let them know who’s boss.

There is no way that writers can be tamed and rendered civilized. Or even cured.