Never crowd youngsters about their private affairs - sex especially.

Logic is a feeble reed, friend. "Logic" proved that airplanes can't fly and that H-bombs won't work and that stones don't fall out of the sky. Logic is a way of saying that anything which didn't happen yesterday won't happen tomorrow.

I don't trust a man who talks about ethics when he is picking my pocket. But if he is acting in his own self-interest and says so, I have usually been able to work out some way to do business with him.

Premenstrual Syndrome: Just before their periods women behave the way men do all the time.

The way to find justice is to deal fairly with other people and not worry about how they deal with you.

When you're rich, you don't have friends; you just have endless acquaintances.

I have never been able to see how a thirty-year old moron can vote more wisely than a fifteen-year old genius.