Minimize your therbligs until it becomes automatic; this doubles your effective lifetime - and thereby gives time to enjoy butterflies and kittens and rainbows.

There are only five things really worth drawing; four of them are pretty girls and the fifth is cats.

Gratitude: An imaginary emotion that rewards an imaginary behavior, altruism. Both imaginaries are false faces for selfishness, which is a real and honest emotion.

I came, I saw, she conquered." The original Latin seems to have been garbled.

Take sides! Always take sides! You will sometimes be wrong - but the man who refuses to take sides must always be wrong.

Being right too soon is socially unacceptable.

My folks tried to make a preacher of me and missed by a narrow margin… I would have made a good one if I hadn’t fallen into the fatal folly of reading anything I could lay hands on. With just a touch more self confidence and a liberal helping of ignorance I could have been a famous evangelist.