When any government, or any church for that matter, undertakes to say to its subjects, This you may not read, this you must not see, this you are forbidden to know, the end result is tyranny and oppression no matter how holy the motives.

Art is the process of evoking pity and terror, which is not abstract at all but very human. What the self-styled modern artists are doing is a sort of unemotional pseudointellectual masturbation . . . whereas creative art is more like intercourse, in which the artist must seduce -- render emotional -- his audience, each time.

Obscurity is the refuge of incompetence.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Once a month, some women act like men act all the time.

Thinking doesn't pay. Just makes you discontented with what you see around you.

If I had a Boy Scout I could make a fire by rubbing his hind legs together.