when faced with a problem you do not understand, do any part of it you do understand, then look at it again.

Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not.

To assess the intelligence of a committee, divide the IQ of its stupidest member by the number of members.

It seems to me that any law that is not enforced and can't be enforced weakens all other laws.

I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts- because it's the only thing that'll make it stop hurting... I had been told that a 'funny' thing is a thing of goodness. It isn't... The goodness is in the laughing. I grok it is a bravery- and a sharing- against pain and sorrow and defeat.

Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires.

Nor would anybody suspect. If was one thing all people took for granted, was conviction that if you feed honest figures into a computer, honest figures come out. Never doubted it myself till I met a computer with a sense of humor.