"I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much... because it's the only thing that'll make it stop hurting" ... "But that's not all people laugh at." "Isn't it? Perhaps I don't grok all its fullness yet. But find me something that really makes you laugh sweetheart... a joke, or anything else- but something that gave you a a real belly laugh, not a smile. Then we'll see if there isn't a wrongness wasn't there." He thought. "I grok when apes learn to laugh, they'll be people."

Being sorry won't get you into heaven. Get happy, son. Get that old spring into your step and stay on your toes.

Small change can often be found under seat cushions.

There are no dangerous weapons; there are only dangerous men.

Ayn Rand is a bloody socialist compared to me.

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

The nice thing about citing god as an authority is that you can prove anything you set out to prove.