My old man taught me two things: 'Mind own business' and 'Always cut cards.'

Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best, he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear his shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house.

Pain is the basic mechanism built into us by millions of years of evolution which safeguards us by warning when something threatens our survival.

Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.

God split himself into a myriad parts that he might have friends. This may not be true, but it sounds good, and is no sillier than any other theology.

Stinky says women should be obscene but not heard.

Daughters can spend ten percent more than a man can make in any usual occupation. That’s a law of nature, to be known henceforth as ‘Harshaw’s Law.