Each mans spills the drink he loves.

Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.

Every kind of ignorance in the world all results from not realizing that our perceptions are gambles. We believe what we see and then we believe our interpretation of it, we don’t even know we are making an interpretation most of the time. We think this is reality.

My goal is to try to get people into a state of generalized agnosticism, not agnosticism about God alone, but agnosticism about everything.

There is one universal sex law: Sex shall not be unregulated.

You know, I have found a new way to get high and stay spaced out for hours on end, and the government can't stop me... It's called senility.

It's not true unless it makes you laugh, but you don't understand it until it makes you weep.