You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.

It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.

People who begin sentences with "I may be old-fashioned but--" are usually not only old-fashioned but wrong. I never thought the time would come when I should catch myself leading off with that crack. But I feel it coming on right now.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.

The problem of what to wear while lolling about the house on a Sunday afternoon is becoming more and more acute as the fashions in lolling garments change. The American home is in danger of taking on the appearance of an Oriental bordello.

The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.