You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.

A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.

[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number of characters which clutter up the pages. The Russian school is responsible for this.

I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures.

Sunday morning may be cheery enough, with its extra cup of coffee and litter of Sunday newspapers, but there is always hanging over it the ominous threat of 3 P.M., when the sun gets around to the back windows and life stops dead in its tracks.