There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

I never liked bananas much anyway. Two-thirds of the way down even one banana I am willing to concede defeat smilingly and give the rest to the nearest monkey.

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.

One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.

Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.