Mothers sometimes are overly possessive, but not all children allow themselves to be possessed.

We're all not quite as sane as we pretend to be.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

I think perhaps all of us go a little crazy at times.

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

I haven't had this much fun since the rats ate my baby sister

I always carry a pistol when I go [to the New York Public Library]. Never did trust those stone lions.