The road to success is wherever people need another road.

Whatever you put aside to seek happiness, remember where you put it.

I am a private person, but I will reveal this about myself: if you start massaging my shoulders, don't expect me to tell you to stop.

In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families - that they are least two-thirds incontinent.

The secret to happiness is to put the burden of proof on unhappiness.

Some day man will travel at the speed of light, of small interest to those of us still trying to catch up to the speed of time.

If you could eavesdrop on everything said about you, you'd spend most of your time waiting for the subject to come up.