Looking back, you realize that everything would have explained itself if you had only stopped interrupting.

A commuter tie-up consists of you — and people who for some reason won't use public transit.

If Creation were a crime, would not God be the prime suspect?

After years of buying clothes I intend to diet into, I'll say this: the skeleton in my closet has some really nice outfits.

A rule that cannot be bent will certainly be broken.

I am a private person, but I will reveal this about myself: if you start massaging my shoulders, don't expect me to tell you to stop.

I suppose I will die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it.