In comparing religious belief to science, I try to remember that science is belief also.

Alas, by the time Fate caught up with my life, Chance had it all planned.

Nature decrees that we do not exceed the speed of light. All other impossibilities are optional.

You spend the first two-thirds of your life asking to be left alone and the last third not having to ask.

Ah, the things we would do if we could — especially in the secure knowledge that we can't.

In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families - that they are least two-thirds incontinent.

My health plan doesn't cover dental, so I enrolled my teeth as 32 dependents, each needing a complete physical once a year.