Though we often wonder why God does what he does, we can be sure he does it on better information.

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead.

Retirement is having nothing to do and someone always keeping you from it.

Eventually the person who tries to fix the problem will be blamed for causing it.

An old belief is like an old shoe. We so value its comfort that we fail to notice the hole in it.

There is no tomorrow. There is only a planet turning on its axis, and a creature given to optimistic fancies.

Sometimes I wonder — if I were drop-dead handsome, and every woman I met actually dropped dead, would I ever get tired of it?