Despite the goings-on in Congress, I don't believe the USA is bordering on madness. I believe Mexico and Canada are.

There have been days when I sought respite from my life, only to find myself calling every hour to check on it.

When compiling his great dictionary, the young Noah Webster travels to the Himalayas, where he climbs to the cave of the world's wises man. 'O, great sage,' he says, 'tell me the meaning of life.' The sage sits Noah at his feet and, with great solemnity, commences to unfold the meaning of life. When finished, he places a hand on the young man's shoulder and says, 'Do you have any other questions, my son?' Noah flips a page in his notebook and says, 'You wouldn't know the meaning of lift, would you?'

Optimist: Someone who figures that taking a step backwards after taking a step forwards is not a disaster. It's a cha-cha.

Does it seem sometimes that you are always the one to break an embarrassing silence — and always by saying something more embarrassing than the silence?

The artist gazes upon a reality and creates his own impression. The viewer gazes upon the impression and creates his own reality.

While I occasionally enjoy a bout of nostalgia, I would generally rather dream forward than backward.