It’s my luck that every time I feel I completely comprehend God’s plan, I don’t have a pencil with me.

I don't think most people want to be unhappy. It's just something they've gotten good at.

The human species is made up of seven billion subspecies each consisting of one specimen.

The trick to writing an aphorism is to place a period at the point where you're inclined to say, "in other words.

All is illusion, although as long as there's an illusion that the kids need to be fed, all might as well be reality.

There is a language of love, which is to say, a truth that does not tell all and a lie that does not deceive.

A paranoid thinks that sinister forces are out to get him, not realizing that they are out to get everybody.