If God had intended me to make excuses for who I am, He would have given me better excuses.

A dog is much like a married man, obeying his master's voice for the sake of his master's touch.

Time is a figure eight, at its center the city of Deja Vu.

To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word "boo."

Better you don't search for who you are until you know who it is you want to find.

As a general guideline, never marry anyone that you can't picture helping you go to the bathroom.

You don't realize how little accuracy there is in network TV reporting until they cover a story in your hometown.