When I am gone, my love, do not look for me in the places we used to go to together. Look for me in the places we always planned to go to together.

The artist uses the talent he has, wishing he had more talent. The talent uses the artist it has, wishing it had more artist.

Before you pledge your undying love to someone, make them promise they won't die.

One thing you learn in a long marriage is how many sneezes to wait before saying, "Bless you.

Stored away in some brain cell is the image of a long-departed aunt you haven't thought of in 30 years. Stored away in another cell is the image of a pink pony stitched on your first set of baby pajamas. All it takes to get that aunt mounted on the back of that pony is to eat a hunk of meatloaf immediately before going to bed.

As a friend, you first give your understanding, then you try to understand.

My health plan doesn't cover dental, so I enrolled my teeth as 32 dependents, each needing a complete physical once a year.