My eyesight's gone, my reflexes are shot, and I can't stay awake, but thank God I can still drive.

When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone.

To help someone in need is not charity it is proper etiquette.

You're never too old. Unfortunately, you're always too young to know it.

Does it seem sometimes that you are always the one to break an embarrassing silence — and always by saying something more embarrassing than the silence?

A painting is what you make of it, besides which, 'Moon, Weeping' has a better ring to it than 'Paintbrush, Dripping.

If you think that someone is out to steal everything you have, you're either paranoid or a member of the middle class.