My eyesight's gone, my reflexes are shot, and I can't stay awake, but thank God I can still drive.

I have never met anyone who wanted to save the world without my financial support.

If you could eavesdrop on everything said about you, you'd spend most of your time waiting for the subject to come up.

Sometimes, perhaps, we are allowed to get lost that we may find the right person to ask directions of.

What is certainty but the refuge of those whose faith is not strong enough to entertain doubt.

Through sources, we have obtained the following alien assessment of the human species: The male wants to be valued for what he pretends to be. The female wants to be overvalued for what she truly is.

If you allow people to treat you like a doormat, they will expect you to say WELCOME.