An old dog, even more than an old spouse, always feels like doing what you feel like doing.

If I choose abstraction over reality, it is because I consider it the lesser chaos.

Seeking happiness, I passed many travelers headed in the opposite direction, seeking happiness.

Massage is the only form of physical pleasure to which nature forgot to attach consequences.

When compiling his great dictionary, the young Noah Webster travels to the Himalayas, where he climbs to the cave of the world's wises man. 'O, great sage,' he says, 'tell me the meaning of life.' The sage sits Noah at his feet and, with great solemnity, commences to unfold the meaning of life. When finished, he places a hand on the young man's shoulder and says, 'Do you have any other questions, my son?' Noah flips a page in his notebook and says, 'You wouldn't know the meaning of lift, would you?'

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

Skepticism is a religion very rich in evangelists but very short on saviors.