Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past.

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead.

My quest for cosmic understanding is a book I have picked up and put down many times, always forgetting to insert a bookmark.

The happiest memories are of moments that ended when they should have.

Am I lying to you if I tell you the same lie I tell myself?

You can hope for a miracle in your life, or you realize that your life is the miracle.