Tofu is the root of all evil, and there's only one thing that can change a man's mind, and that's a modified Uzi with an extra-long clip.

I make faces for cash and chicken.

I don't think I'm in any position to give anybody advice about anything.

I know if you talk faster and use more ten-dollar words than everyone around you, you convince half of them that they should shut up because you know what you're talking about.

I never know when the seeds are being laid, I'm just like, "Wow, that's a pretty cool scene. Is that? Are we laying seeds here?"

McDonald's being the official restaurant of the Olympics is like smoking being the official medicine of cancer.

Give me a scotch, I'm starving.