Because when you’re laughing, there is no other emotion in that moment except for joy.

It's my mission to try and give people fighting the disease the same gifts of laughter and a positive attitude I had. Hopefully, my career as a comic will give me the forum to touch these people.

Because when you’re laughing, there is no other emotion in that moment except for joy.

My mom told me when I was younger that when you jack off all of your dead relatives are watching. But then I figured who were they going to tell.

It's fun to be in California. The police are kind of weird here. They ask you stupid questions. 'Do you know why I pulled you over?' Because I have pot in the glove compartment?

I went to rent a car, and the guy goes, 'Do you want the extra insurance?' I said, 'Why...am I gonna get into an extra accident?

You know you're out of shape when you have a heart attack when you're watching television.