Once you start looking at the world rationally, it becomes much more exciting.

As much as of course that Englishness of always to be embarrassed about any sense of complement, it is nice to know that a lot of the projects that I've worked on that people do feel there has been some effect.

My life is constant revision but it's not revision, a lot of it is for the first time.

Not since Jimmy Carr have I seen a cold computer programme on stage generate so much laughter.

Wherever you are on Earth, there is more life present than in the rest of the known universe.

I thought I better warn you that I am not one of those politically correct comedians, but it turns out that also I'm not really that racist, homophobic or woman hating either, so you might not notice

If you really want space on public transport you should carry some pornography from the 1970s and a pair of children's safety scissors, then delicately cut out all the eyes of the glamour models whilst whistling. Every now and again mutter, 'Why are women more beautiful when they are eyeless?' You will be able to stretch out, though this can have ramifications such as ending up on a police list or being run out of town.