We're not laughing at you - we're laughing near you

Texting and driving at the same time is like jerking off and juggling at the same time. Too many balls in the air, if you catch my drift.

If you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? Carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.

I was an only child. I did have kind of like a lonely existence.

I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.

How much more can you give? Other than, literally, open-heart surgery onstage? Not much. But the only cure you have right now is the honesty of going, this is who you are. I know who I am.

You might say he was one taco short of a combination platter.