I can be trained, I can actually show you how intelligent I am, I can use a word like delicatessen and know what it means.

I love to ride my bike, which is great aerobics, but also just a great time for me to think, so it's like this terrific double bill.

Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad.

I can be trained, I can actually show you how intelligent I am, I can use a word like delicatessen and know what it means.

For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see.

A Pentagon official once said the people who would actually push the button probably have never seen a person die. He said the only hope -and it's a strange thought - is if they put the button to launch the nuclear war behind a man's heart. The President, then, with a rusty knife, would have to cut out the man's heart, kill the man, to get to the button.

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes