The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material
I'm history! No, I'm mythology! Nah, I don't care what I am, I'm free!
I feel like I'm a big human snot.
Comedy is acting out optimism.
If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell.
After my training wheels, my first real bike was a Schwinn, and my first time out, I rode down a hill, didn’t know how to stop, and ran right into a tree. So, that was a nice experience ... like realizing, oh, there are brakes!