She's the only woman I've ever had a sexual fantasy about. With me, looks come first, and she's everything a woman should be. She's blonde and beautiful, she's got the most incredible legs - et cetera, et cetera. And she's French as well. (on Brigitte Bardot)

If I don't get laid, I'll sure die trying.

Spread your wings and let me come inside.

Well, I've got nothing to hide. Absolutely nothing.

My father, being a Scotsman, taught me to look after finances. I'm shrewd. Some people may call me tight.

When the one you love is in love with someone else, don't you know it's torture, I mean it's living hell.

We all need a laugh and I guess you're just the one.