I've cheated, or someone on my team has cheated, in almost every single game I've been in.

I never saw a pitcher I didn't feel sorry for.

I don't like to sound egotistical, but every time I stepped up to the plate with a bat in my hands, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the pitcher.

I've cheated, or someone on my team has cheated, in almost every single game I've been in.

I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.

I stare out the window and wait for spring.

I'd rather him (Grover Alexander) pitch a crucial game for me drunk, then anyone I've ever known sober. He was that good.