I love the 6 Nations rugby. I feel very Scottish then. I feel very Scottish now, sitting in the middle of Chelsea. But thats part of our heritage - being part of Britain, part of Europe. I love being European.

William Hague, the world's favourite hairline.

I am just fascinated by this reassurance from a menacing figure. It is rather frightening.

Now I'm instantly nervous about the demands of doing a weekly column.

But let's be clear. We're talking about a country where there's no opposition. As leader he can ignore Parliament and - sorry that's Tony Blair isn't it? Um, so he doesn't even have to ask the country before he goes to war - sorry that's still Tony Blair.

I remember driving home one evening while they were reviewing the papers on the radio. One of the articles was about me separating from my wife. It's a weird thing to listen to a news report about the break-up of your marriage.

In a more intellectually rigorous age, I wouldn't be talked about as a satirist at all. I would just be a topical comedian.