I love the 6 Nations rugby. I feel very Scottish then. I feel very Scottish now, sitting in the middle of Chelsea. But thats part of our heritage - being part of Britain, part of Europe. I love being European.

I remember driving home one evening while they were reviewing the papers on the radio. One of the articles was about me separating from my wife. It's a weird thing to listen to a news report about the break-up of your marriage.

I've no idea what they make of me. People usually don't recognise themselves in an impression.

I am just fascinated by this reassurance from a menacing figure. It is rather frightening.

Now I'm instantly nervous about the demands of doing a weekly column.

Just when exactly does the Millennium begin? Some say 1999, some say 2000, and some say 2001. You wait a thousand years for one, and three turn up at once.

People may say that what I do is very clever, but it's not really at all. It's not Swift.