I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
Self-esteem is the goddamn root of all evil.
My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.
I'm a heterosexual. I don't know why I'm like this. I was just born this way.
Laugh every day as much as you can.
I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody's kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too.