Being completely in control is a fantasy.

Challenging behavior is just a signal, the fever, the means by which the kid is communicating that he or she is having difficulty meeting an expectation.

When people are rushed, they're stressed and you greatly increase the likelihood of being punitive and unilateral just because you're trying to grasp control.

We never get to see that our kid is capable of solving problems on her own. We never start to build up the faith that they can actually do it.

If a solution isn't mutually satisfactory, it's not going to stick.

Kids are overprogrammed these days.

Solutions can't be imposed. That just fosters resentment.