The idea that we can take this lump of clay and mold it into a form of our choosing is absolutely ludicrous.

The vast majority of things parents and kids get in conflict over are highly predictable. We're disagreeing about the same expectations the kid is having difficulty meeting every hour, every day, every week. Because it's predictable, we can have these conversations proactively. That is very hard for people.

The idea that we can take this lump of clay and mold it into a form of our choosing is absolutely ludicrous.

If a solution isn't mutually satisfactory, it's not going to stick.

No kid should be getting three or four hours of homework a night. There's no breathing time, there's no family time, there are just extracurriculars and homework and then go to bed.

There is still quite the vibe out there that as a parent you have to be completely in control and in charge.

When people are rushed, they're stressed and you greatly increase the likelihood of being punitive and unilateral just because you're trying to grasp control.