For a very long time, people have been saying to me, "What if you want to do this approach with every kid?" For a behaviorally challenging kid, you're parenting this way just to help bring the kid's behavior under control and to greatly reduce conflict. But you want to teach all kids the skills that are on the better side of human nature: empathy, appreciating how one's behavior is affecting other people, resolving disagreements in ways that do not involve conflict, taking another's perspective, honesty.

There is still quite the vibe out there that as a parent you have to be completely in control and in charge.

When people are rushed, they're stressed and you greatly increase the likelihood of being punitive and unilateral just because you're trying to grasp control.

It's so crucial to really get a good handle on what's getting in the way of the kid completing a homework assignment. It can be so many things.

We have forgotten that those skills on the more positive side of human nature have to be taught, have to be modeled, have to be practiced.

The idea that we can take this lump of clay and mold it into a form of our choosing is absolutely ludicrous.

My advice to educators is collaborate with parents; they know a lot about their kids.