I've told so many lies about my age I don't know how old I am myself.

My ultimate fantasy is to entice a man to my bedroom, put a gun to his head and say, 'Make babies or die'.

Like any working mother I find it hard to have a social life. But my kids are so well adjusted. There isn't a brat bone in their body so I haven't done anything that bad.

Why is that when people become ill and have something wrong with any of their organs, they get sympathy from other people - except when that organ is their brain?

College athletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.

By the time dessert arrives I am usually so drunk, I can't remember what I'm serving.

I'm lucky not to have a nine-to-five job.