I knew nothing about football, then someone showed me a film of Petit and I realised how interesting the game could be. He is divine. When I met him I could barely speak, he was so gorgeous. Women will love that show.

My ultimate fantasy is to entice a man to my bedroom, put a gun to his head and say, 'Make babies or die'.

I have to keep reminding myself that I am their mother. Sometimes we are sitting at home and I feel like we are waiting for our mom to come home.

How come every other organ in your body can get sick and you get sympathy, except the brain?

By the time dessert arrives I am usually so drunk, I can't remember what I'm serving.

Like any working mother I find it hard to have a social life. But my kids are so well adjusted. There isn't a brat bone in their body so I haven't done anything that bad.

I've told so many lies about my age I don't know how old I am myself.