Journalist: A person with nothing on his mind and the power to express it.

Life seemed to be an educator's practical joke in which you spent the first half learning and the second half learning that everything you learned in the first half was wrong.

I am sitting here 93 million miles from the sun on a rounded rock which is spinning at the rate of 1000 miles an hour... and my head pointing down into space with nothing between me and infinity but something called gravity which I can't even understand, and which you can't even buy any place so as to have some stored away for a gravityless day.

Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity.

Humans treat time as a map and always know where they are located on it and respond with the appropriate emotion.

Grass is the least rewarding of all status symbols... The grass does nothing but drink money, exhaust energies, crush spirits, destroy sleep, create tensions and interfere with the watching of baseball games, and sprout insolent signs ordering humans to keep off it.

The American press has the blues. Too many authorities have assured it that its days are numbered, too many good newspapers are in ruins.