What should happen is a little voice in your head, like Jimmy Cricket in Pinocchio, will go 'But Russell, that bird, that's a creature like you, if you kill it it'll be all sad' and you go 'F***, alright. I won't kill it then.'

I get fixated when I'm bleeding -- I can see why they went in for blood-letting in the medieval times because it makes you feel a bit better. When I cut myself, the drama of it calms me down.

All penguins are the same below the surface, which I think is as perfect an analogy as we're likely to get for the futility of racism.

If you have no brothers and sisters it defines you for life; even when you're thirty you refer to yourself as an only child.

The happiest moments in our life aren't "Oh I got a new hat or a wonderful silvery object, some glistening bauble." But it's when you connect with another human being. If you can find the $18 in your pocket, you are purchasing dreams with that money.

How long is it polite to continue to be interested in what someone says after they reveal they've got a boyfriend?

Imagining the overthrow of the current political system is the only way I can be enthused about politics.