There's no biological reason why a man shouldn't just try to have sex with every woman he meets - all of them get pregnant and your genetics are winning.

What was so painful about Amy’s death is that I know that there is something I could have done. I could have passed on to her the solution that was freely given to me. Don’t pick up a drink or drug, one day at a time. It sounds so simple; it actually is simple but it isn’t easy; it requires incredible support and fastidious structuring.

A Halloween-haired, Sachsgate-enacting, estuary-whining, glitter-lacquered, priapic berk How dare I, from my velvet chaise longue, in my Hollywood home like Kubla Khan, drag my limbs from my harem to moan about the system? A system that has posited me on a lilo made of thighs in an ocean filled with honey and foie gras'd my Essex arse with undue praise and money.

Amy Winehouse - her surname's beginning to sound like a description of her liver.

We continue to be spilled on by consumerism even though we know it doesn't make us happy.

Every moment is a fresh new beginning... a wonderful inauguration of the great cosmic journey through the Universe. We can do whatever we want. We can change reality at any moment.

On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed.