When I got pregnant with my first child I gained nearly 5st. I did a bit of pretending: "I'm just really small, so I just put on a lot of weight when I'm pregnant." That is true, but I also ate a lot of cake.

What having a Down's syndrome child isn't - and I feel very strongly about this - is a tragedy. All those pregnancy books you read when you are expecting refer to Down's syndrome as if it were the worst possible outcome, and it's not.

The only way I'll ever run a marathon is if I'm involved in the administration.

If you get 10,000 guys to put their ideal woman into a computer, it still comes out looking like Angelina Jolie.

When I write, I create really absurd situations which become false because I am after the joke.

Getting a new passport took me a stupid amount of time. I had to go back five times with different photographs because they kept saying I was smiling, which is against the rules. I was not smiling.

I've got spider veins all over my legs, so I wear opaque tights all winter. All sorts of colours.