I shot a wild elephant in Africa thirty yards from me, and it didn't hit the ground until it was right at my feet. I wasn't a bit scared. But a four foot putt scares me to death.

I looked like a monkey trying to wrestle a football.

Golf tip: Lay off for three weeks and then quit for good.

Correct one fault at a time. Concentrate on the one fault you want to overcome.

You've just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit it.

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

Golf is played with the arms.