When I ask you what club to use, look the other way and don't answer.
A bad putter is like a bad apple in a barrel. First, it turns your chipping game sour. Then it begins to eat into your irons and finally it just cleans the head off your driver.
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
That little white ball is always staring back at you, daring you to make a mistake.
The only reason I ever played in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish.
I looked like a monkey trying to wrestle a football.