There's always going to be someone who hates you. There's always going to be people who love you. It's a risk in either direction.

Sex with my first boyfriend was a little bit like learning how to put in a tampon, but only half as enjoyable!

You've got to have gumption. You've got to be willing to stand up on the stage for no money for ten years.

It's like you can't even go on the radio anymore and condemn a whole subset of people to hell without getting some blowback.

If you get mad about how your voice sounds when it comes out of your own mouth, it's not really my fault. Go ahead and be yourself.

Everybody is agreeing so tersely. I just had a flashback to the month before my parents finally admitted they were getting a divorce.

I dislike Ted Cruz as much as the next everyone. But that's no reason to be rude to Ted's loving wife and possible hostage.